Blues lost in Japan
by 3LW00D
Summary: After a plane that was supposed to take the Blues Brothers to their next gig gets lost somwhere over the Atlantic they find themselves in Japan.


_This is a colaborative Oneshot done with my friend and partner Sora M. Jigen. This came from us paroding the Japanese version of the Blues Brothers done as an animated cartoon. NO OFFENCE IS MEANT BY THIS FIC!_

**Disclaimer: **Jake and Elwood are not ours, they belong to Dan Aykroyd and related people.

OoOoOoOo

_A plane that was supposed to take Jake and Elwood Blues to their next gig got lost somewhere over the Atlantic. Somehow the plane ended up in Japan. It didn't take the Blues Brothers long realize that they were in the wrong place, but being Jake and Elwood they recovered and went in search of Blues, Booze, and Food._

Elwood was the first to spot a place to refuel, "Look, a restaurant!" In his excitement he forgot his brother as he ran inside and took a seat. He was at first surprised at the Japanese tables, which didn't have chairs, but got over it and eagerly sat Indian style on a pillow.

Jake looked at the sign over the door, he didn't see anything that could have signaled it as being a restaurant, but trusted his brother's judgment, as well as his nose, and followed him inside.

A waiter came and with considerable flourish placed menus on the table in front of the boys. Eagerly they both picked up the pieces of paper and attempted to decipher their meaning. "Alright, ya know what," Elwood finally declared, "screw this, just get me some toast and a Jim Beam"

Jake also gave up trying to read and just ordered the first thing that popped into his head. "Um, I'll have four fried chickens and a coke, no; make that a bottle of night train." He was already imagining the crunch of the chicken and the pleasant buzz the Night Train would give him, as long as he didn't have too much. He was well aware of Elwood gazing at him, not looking forward to dealing with a drunken Jake so far from Chicago.

The waiter smiled at them, "I am sorry honorable sirs, but we do not serve toast or chicken here. Please select something else." He waved at their menus to communicate what he meant.

Jake glared at the waiter, why didn't these people speak English? "I have absolutely no idea what you just said. Just go get us something to eat" He dismissed the man with a wave of his hand in the direction of the kitchen.

The waiter, not understanding what he meant left to put in an order himself, he gave directions to the cook in Japanese, "The gentlemen out there want sushi." He hoped that it would suffice.

_Jake and Elwood pass the time waiting for their food by drawing little doodles on their placemats_

After around ten minutes of hard work Elwood held up his with stick figures all over it "Look Jake! It's us at the Palace Hotel gig, see, that's you", he pointed at what looked like a snowman wearing a suit. "And that's me!" He pointed at a twig with a hat and glasses.

Jake was not amused, "You think that's funny?" He glared at the offending piece of paper.

_Within time the waiter returned carrying two plates with sushi and two small cups (think the size of a quarter cup for cooking) of a Japanese drink. He placed the food in front of the boys and bowed before leaving_Elwood didn't even take time to look at his plate before scarfing it down. "FOOD!" he exclaimed, diving in and taking a huge bite. He promptly spit it all out again. All over Jake, "Not food! What the hell is this stuff?!" He used his hand to wipe it off his tongue.

Jake wiped the sushi off his face, "Nice going Leadfoot." He looked down at his own plate, "That's not fried chicken!"

Elwood, hoping to wash out the offending stuff out took a drink from the small wooden cup, "Pugh! Tastes like rice, getting closer, but still not toast." He put his chin in his right hand, making 'kicked puppy' face.

Jake, after examining the food, took a VERY small bite of sushi "....not bad, but not good." He stood up, "I'm gonna go talk to that waiter...."

_The waiter was in the kitchen getting a plate of food ready for another table. A busboy came in and informed him that a gentleman was outside and wanted to see him. The waiter nodded and walked outside, Jake was standing there, trying to see if there was anything edible in the kitchen._

Jake spoke with forced patience, "Look, I said I wanted four fried chickens and a beer." He held up his plate, "This is NOT chicken. Can you _please _get me some chicken?"

The waiter answered him, still in Japanese, "We do not serve chicken here! If you want chicken go to KFC down the street! Please order something else if you do not want sushi." He almost threw up his hands in aggravation.

"Ok look. If you don't have fried chicken I'll take…a large order of Prime Rib served with Baby Ray's BBQ sauce. And a bottle of Night Train, you forgot that last time." Without waiting for an answer he turned and sauntered back to the table.

Jake sat down with a sigh and gloomily stared at where normally a plate of good, edible food would be sitting. Hearing a continuous annoying clicking sound he looked up and across that table at Elwood. He was trying, without much success to pick up the sushi with chopsticks.

After dropping the food for what seemed to be the twentieth time he declared, "This isn't working! How do people eat with these things?" After a moment of consideration he simply stabbed a piece of fish, "Ha! Much better." He gave Jake a smug look at having figured it out.

"Why are you playing with your food when you have no intention of eating it?"

Elwood pointed at him in a knowledgeable way, "'Cause I can do this!" He picked up the spoon that was reserved for soup, loaded a piece of sushi in it, and using the whole thing like a catapult shot it at someone across the room. "See? Pretty nifty huh?"

_It took no small amount of time but Jake finally received a new dish of food, which obviously wasn't Prime Rib. What lied before him was a plate of small ground up pieces._

"What the hell?" Jake leaned in close and examined the new concoction.

Elwood also looked over to see what it was, he shrugged, "Maybe they make it different here?"

Nodding the older Blues used his chopsticks to stab a small morsel and stuck it in his mouth. "Ya know what? This shit isn't that bad." He bent closer to the plate to the time it took for the food to reach his mouth was lessened and resumed eating.

_Hoping that the man in the shades was pleased with his meal the waiter returned to the table to check up on him. He, as usual, spoke in his native tongue of Japanese._

"You are, I hope, enjoying your chicken livers?"

Jake only caught the word 'chicken liver' which was spoken in English, his head snapped up and the food stopped halfway to his mouth. "What? What the hell do you have me eating?!"

Slowly and deliberately the waiter repeated himself, "Chicken livers."

Elwood's eyes bugged out behind his shades, he didn't know whether to be disgusted or amused at the turn of events. "Oh shit." Was how he finally decided to sum it all up.

_The waiter was unable to comprehend why the man in the suit was unhappy with his meal. He had ordered fried chicken, and here was chicken. It just wasn't making sense to him._

Why are you upset with your meal? You asked for chicken, and here is chicken!" He cursed the horrible language block that kept them from communicating!

Elwood leaned over Jake's dish once again and deadpanned, "Well, it isn't fried, but at least you got your chicken." He looked sadly back at his own plate.

Jake's famous temper finally blew, he spoke with an undertone of barely controlled disgust, "You expect me to eat that?! There is no way that I am eating chicken guts!" he spat the last words.

"You mean that you won't eat it _again, _you said yourself that it didn't taste that bad." He smirked, "At least it isn't raw fish."

_The waiter watched the exchange with a mix of aggravation, confusion, and amusement. It was clear to him that the one man was upset with his chicken, and that the other was waiting to see how far he could push him before he lost his meal. It wasn't long._

Elwood again stabbed his fish. He faked eating it and launched the projectile across the room. I wonder how they gut the fish, don't you? Or the chicken. How do they get the stuff out of it and leave the rest intact for eating?

It was the finally straw for Jake; he covered his mouth and left the table. He ran off in search of some sign that would indicate where the restroom was.

Elwood shrugged and launched another piece of fish.

The waiter had had quite enough of that, "Don't do that." He instructed in Japanese.

Elwood simply looked at him and smirked, "Me no sprecaze Japanese."


End file.
